took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
