Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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