"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
