I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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