Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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