Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can't put those talents on a resume
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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