Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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