I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
