i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
