Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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