I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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