i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
