he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
