i just sent this text using only my big toe
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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