He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
