Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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