Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
