I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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