well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
