y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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