Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
