I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
