Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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