normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
