Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I got inside last night via doggy door
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
