I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
