i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
