ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There r osticjed everywhere
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
