his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
