I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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