Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
