I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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