I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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