i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
