love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
