Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
