seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
