i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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