youre lurking in front of me
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
