we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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