things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
