Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
