All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
