...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
