How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
