His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
