So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
