So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
