Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
