im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
