none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
